


Be In My Eyes, Be In My Heart

by anniesdisneyeyes



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, In Your Eyes AU, Mental Health Issues, Soulmate AU, trigger warning: referenced violence/abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8040574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anniesdisneyeyes/pseuds/anniesdisneyeyes
Summary: All their life they have been connected, even if they didn't always know it. At first it was just feelings- emotions. Then it became so much more. One day something incredible happens. They can hear, see, feel, smell, taste, all the things the other does. It's up to them to decide how their bond came to be and what they should do about it.  Even though they've never met, even though they live states away from each other, this is the story of how Barry and Iris fall in love.Based on the movie In Your Eyes





	1. Friends in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was going to be more of a prologue, but it got a little long. Just know that future chapters will all be written in the present with a few flash backs here and there. 
> 
> I want to thank withaflashoflove for the beta! Seriously, this would not have been written if it wasn't for her. She was very patient, yet very encouraging, and her advice and suggestions has made this chapter better. Thank you so much! I look forward to continue working with you.

* * *

~*~*~ _ Barry~*~*~ _

* * *

  


_ Portland, Oregon, 1996 _

  


There was a time when Barry was afraid of the dark. It wasn’t an uncommon fear, he knew. But still, it persisted. He would spend hours at night, clutching the edge of his covers with anxiety, feeling as if the darkness would swallow him whole. It was like the moment his mother switched off the light the world would disappear from him, the people he loved along with it, and he would be lost in his crippling isolation. He would cry and scream, begging his mother to run back into the room and turn on the light. Most nights he would even ask her to lay with him until he fell asleep, terrified of what would happen if she would ever leave his side.

  


Then one night, when his mother was tucking him in, she lightly brushed a bit of hair behind his ear with her delicate fingers and said “You aren’t afraid of the dark, Barry. You’re afraid of being alone in the dark. And that goes away when you realize something. You’re never really alone.”

  


It was like the words she spoke were part of a magic spell. They were enough for him to brave the dark, at least for the night. No matter what he could or couldn’t see there were people out there who loved him and would always take care of him. 

  


And that’s when he first felt it.

  


In the beginning, it was subtle. It was a feeling of companionship in the dark and silent nights that extended beyond the love and protection of his parents. It was the presence of someone he was unfamiliar with, but not in a way that would cause him more fear.

Barry felt warm and comforted. Even when there was no one around, he didn’t feel like he was alone anymore. There was always someone with him, deep in his heart, behind his eyes, that was experiencing the same things he was.

  


* * *

~*~*~ _ Iris _ ~*~*~

* * *

  


_ Central City, Oregon, 1996 _

  


Iris often sat on the front porch and gazed at the sunset as she waited for her father to come home from work. There were a lot of times where he’d return later than expected, but she didn’t mind. She enjoyed the time she spent watching the slow changing colors as the sun lowered beneath the city scape only to be replaced by a sky sprinkled with glimmering stars. Living in the city, she knew that the stars weren’t as bright or as many as they would be in the quieter parts of the world, but she could always locate the north star if she looked hard enough.

  


On the night of her 8th birthday, he was late again. She pulled her coat tighter around her body, fighting the chill of the autumn air, and kept her eyes fixed on her star, always enamored by the comfort of its brightness and consistency. 

  


Finally, a car pulled into the driveway and Iris smiled at the sight of her father.

  


When he made it up the walkway to the stairs, he offered Iris an apologetic look and said “Sorry I’m late, baby” before leaning down to leave a kiss on the top of her head. “Is your mother in the bedroom?”

  


Iris didn’t know why he even bothered to ask. Every night when he found her waiting for him on the steps, he asked the question he already knew the answer to. Every night Iris bit her bottom lip and nodded in response. Tonight was no different.

  


“She’s been in there since she picked up Wally from daycare. But don’t worry. I took care of him. He’s sleeping now.” She said as if she had no problem with it.

  


Joe shook his head in disappointment and sat down next to her on the steps. “You shouldn’t have had to do that. Especially not on your birthday. I tried to talk to her-” He stopped and sighed. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the birthday you deserve.”

  


“It’s not over yet!” She exclaimed.

  


“No it’s not.” Joe chuckled before he reached into the bag he was holding and pulled out a stuffed bear. “This is just a little something for being such a good girl, even when I’ve been gone all day.”

  


Iris took the bear when he offered it to her, noticed the kind smile stitched into fabric, and hugged it close to her heart. “Thank you, daddy! I love it!”

  


“You’re welcome, baby girl. Now why don’t we go inside and have a late birthday celebration?”

  


When they went inside, Joe left the room for a minute or so before returning with a big box wrapped in purple paper. She tore it open to find the Easy Bake Oven she had been asking for for what seemed like forever. She was overjoyed.

  


They wound up using it right away, and while they waited for her small chocolate birthday cake to finish baking, he put in Sleeping Beauty for the two of them to watch together, knowing the movie would run past her bedtime. Being tired and overworked, Joe fell asleep long before Briar Rose did. Iris took off his shoes for him, covered him with a blanket, and returned to her movie as she held on tightly to her new teddy bear.

  
  


* * *

~*~*~ _ Barry _ ~*~*~

* * *

  


_ Portland, Oregon, 1997 _

  


Barry had made a bit of a transformation over the last few months. Overjoyed that he had seemed to have conquered his fear, his mother asked him what it was that made him feel so much better at night. Barry simply said that he thought about what she said, and realised that he  had a friend there with him whenever he felt he was scared. It was a hard thing for him to explain in a way that made any kind of sense, but his father  just smiled fondly and told him he was growing up.

  


Later he heard them talking about his new ‘imaginary friend’ when they thought he wasn’t around and Barry frowned. It was normal in child development, his father said, and it wouldn’t be long until Barry grew out of it.

  


The thing was, Barry didn’t want to grow out of it. He wanted to close his eyes and know this person was there for him. He wanted this bond to remain a constant fixture in his life because he didn’t know where he’d be without it. It was important.

  


_ She  _ was important.

  


He didn’t have a face or name. He didn’t even have a voice. All he had were these emotions that seeped through his subconscious and the strong intuition he’d developed. The longer it went on and the more their connection grew, he knew with absolute certainty that she needed him as much as he needed her.

  


* * *

~*~*~ _ Iris _ ~*~*~

* * *

  


_ Central City, Oregon, 1997 _

  


Iris grew attached to her teddy bear rather quickly. She loved her Easy Bake Oven, she really did. But over the past year she found herself latching on to her stuffed pal and giving him more kisses than minutes spent waiting for a cake to be baked by a light bulb. There was something special about him. She couldn’t put her finger on it, she had no idea what made him stand out amongst the rest of her toys.  There was just something that told her that from the moment he was made he was supposed to be hers.

  


When Joe asked her what she decided to name him she gave him a hard look and thought about it for a moment. “Barry.” She proclaimed proudly. “That’s his name.”

  


He laughed heartedly in response and said “Barry the Bear. I like it. He’ll be good match for McSnurtle the Turtle.”

  


He thought she was just keeping up the cutesy thing she did with a lot of her stuffed animals, but that wasn’t it. Barry was his name, Iris could feel it. She couldn’t help that he just happened to be a bear.

  


Barry stuck with her through a lot of rough times, most of which involved her mother in one way or another. He was there the days when Francine would isolate herself from anything and everything. He was there when she would yell at Iris for no reason. He was there when her mother basically wanted to forget that she existed. The more distance that grew between her and her mother, the tighter she gripped on to Barry, hoping her reliance on him could somehow fill the void.

  


Things haven’t always been like this between them. There was a time when they were each other’s world. Iris could remember when she would sing to her, when she would fix up her hair, when she would they would read together, when they would take special trips to the park.

  


But things were different now. As the years went by, those things they shared started to slip as her mother changed. It was like she just became disinterested. 

  


Francine would never stick to a job, always giving the excuse that she couldn’t work with the people there. So, to make up for it, Joe would spend so many hours out of the house just to make enough money for a family of four to live off of. Iris could hear their arguments at night. Her father would get frustrated and angry at her for not contributing anything to the family and basically giving up on parenting. She would respond with ridiculous accusations that made no sense to Iris whenever she heard them. 

  


With the growing detachment Francine seemed to have with them, and the fact that she mostly ever saw her father when he came home late at night, completely worn out, Iris felt very lonely a lot of the time. Sure, she had Wally. Being only four years old and not being able to do all that much for himself, he provided her with the feeling that someone actually needed her. But , being so young, he couldn’t be the emotional support that she herself needed.

  


Taking on the caretaker role she felt obligated to fill, she convinced herself that it meant she had to learn how to be strong. Being strong, she believed, meant never letting anyone see how much pain she was actually experiencing. She couldn’t let anyone see her cry.

  


That’s where Barry helped her the most. It didn’t matter if he saw her cry because he was hers. He was made to be there for her while she was there for everyone else. She would pet the soft fur that grew more and more tattered with each passing day and could almost hear the words “It’s okay” whispered to her as she cried softly.

  
  
  


* * *

~*~*~ _ Barry _ ~*~*~  


* * *

  


_ Portland, Oregon, 1999 _

  


Barry wasn’t all that into sports. He was much more into sticking his nose in a text book and coming out with cool new science experiments he could pull off, hopefully without destroying the kitchen (he’d already gotten in big trouble once… or twice, when he attempted an exploding foam experiment). But after Barry came home with a gold medal in the long distance run from his 5 th grade class’ end of the year Track and Field day, Henry saw that as an opportunity to get his son outside and start participating in group activities. So he signed him up for Little League Baseball.

  


Truth be told, Barry had been a little more standoffish lately. He’d spend an incredible amount of time in the house, not too keen on the idea of socializing. Not being very popular in school didn’t make him friendless. He had couple good friends he’d made over the years, but whenever they called over the past few months, asking if him he wanted to come over, he’d decline and give a lame excuse. He’d say things like “I promised my mom I would clean my room today” when he did nothing of the sort.

  


He was sad and detached, never knowing how to get out of this funk he’d seemed to find himself in. There was really no excuse for it. His family was good. His parents were getting along well. Summer had arrived and he should be buzzing with excitement the way that every other kid did.

It was her, he knew. His friend that he never allowed himself to talk about anymore. Not if he really wanted to give his parents something to worry about.

  


Something was going on with her. She was in pain, and he wished now more than ever that he knew who she was so that maybe he could figure out how he could help her. But right now, there wasn’t much he could do.

  


Then it occurred to him, maybe if he can feel her, she could she feel him too. Whoever or wherever she was, if he made an effort to participate and push his way through all the sadness, it was possible to bring her out of it as well.

  


So when Barry’s father sat him down and told him that he had signed him up for Little League, he didn’t fight like it he was probably expected to. Instead he nodded and said it might be fun. It was time to get outside and put a little light in her life.

  


* * *

_ ~*~*~Iris~*~*~ _

* * *

_ _

  


_ Central City, Oregon, 1999 _

  


It had been just over two months since they lost their mother. Or, to be more accurate, it had been two months since she left them. There were signs, she knew, but she didn’t realize how much she would regret not paying attention to them until the day she realized all of her mother’s things were gone and she was nowhere in sight.

  


Francine had been talking to herself more frequently over the past year or two. What started out as muttering nonsensical things under her breath evolved into locking herself in her room and having full on arguments with herself. She even started spewing outlandish accusations at the people who she used to trust and was getting more and more depressed, eventually not being able to leave the house. Iris tried to reach out to her in hopes that she could help, but she could rarely reach her. Every once in awhile, she would see her father hand her a few pills, urging her to take them. For a while it seemed like they would calm her down, but even that didn’t manage to prevent what happened next.

  


Iris could remember the night she left and how the air smelt strange, like something she couldn’t even begin to describe, when she was gently shaken awake. She remembered the feel of her father’s hand on her shoulder and the concern in his eyes when she looked up to see him standing at the side of the bed with Wally in his arms.  When she asked what was wrong, all he said was that she had to go outside with him.

  


When the three of them made it to the front porch, Iris saw an ambulance parked in front of their house and a man with a medical bag approached them. He checked them over, tested their breathing and their heart, and said that they seemed okay, but said they should get over to the hospital to be looked at by a doctor. He offered them a ride in the ambulance, but Joe declined saying that he could drive the kids himself.

  


Iris still had no idea what was going on and when she asked again, her father said that there was a gas leak in the house and he needed to make sure that they were okay. Then, when she asked about their mother, all he would say is that she might be gone for a while.

  


The next day, Iris was surprised to find that all of her stuff was gone. Apparently she left after Iris and Wally had fallen asleep and accidentally left the gas on the stove on. It didn’t make much sense to her, her mother rarely even used the stove anymore and gave no indication that she was leaving, but it was a story told by her father, someone she knew to be a very honest man, so she believed him. 

  


Days turned to weeks and there was still no word from their mother. Where she was, Iris had no idea, and she couldn’t help but feel the pang of abandonment that stung worse than it did when Francine would consistently shut her out. She left them. There were no goodbyes or explanations, no promises that they would see each other again. She was just gone.

  


She cried nightly in her bed, hugging Barry tighter than she’d ever had before, saying the words “Please, please, don’t ever leave me”. 

  


Joe took a short leave of absence from work to help them as much as he could through the transition, but eventually he had to go back to his long hour days. He would try to reassure them over and over again that if he could spend every day at home with them, he would, but there were still bills to pay and he could only do that if he went back to work. Iris understood. She knew how much he loved them and everything he did he did for their well being. It didn’t make it any less hard, however, to see him leave through the front door every morning.

  


They were lucky to have a kind neighbor who would pick up Wally from daycare and let them stay at her house while their father was at work. She had a couple kids of her own for them to do things with and when summer came she would take them all to the local pool where they had signed up for swimming lessons. It could be fun, she supposed, but it did little to distract her from the pain engulfing her heart for more than minutes at a time.

  


* * *

_ ~*~*~Barry~*~*~ _

* * *

  


_ Portland, Oregon 1999 _

  


Barry hated being placed in the outfield during games. Playing in little league it was rare that anyone would ever be able to the hit the ball past the pitcher's mound, so there wasn’t much of a chance that he would get a taste of any of the action this inning. He would probably just stand there for however long it took to get three more outs. 

  


Barry kicked at the grass, bored, eager for chance to run and get his adrenaline pumping. He watched as his teammate Tommy struck out the first batter, causing the kid to throw his bat hard on the ground in frustration. One down, two more to go. At least it didn’t look like this wasn’t going to be dragged out too long.The next boy managed to hit the ball on the second throw, and it bounced a few feet from home plate and he was just fast enough to reach first before he could get struck out. 

  


Barry threw his head back, losing his focus on the game and watched the few clouds move slowly overhead. He was tired, he was hot, and he was suddenly very thankful his mother insisted on covering him in what seemed like a bucket’s worth of sunscreen. He took a moment to wonder what his friend was doing right now. He could sense that she was getting increasingly more sad lately and hoped that maybe all the sun he was getting was helping her mood a little. He read once that sunshine could release some kind of Neurotransmitter in your brain, making you feel happier and more positive. Barry had no idea if it was actually helping her, but he sure hoped it did.

  


* * *

_ ~*~*~Iris~*~*~ _

* * *

  


Diving was the subject of her lesson today. If she passed this with good marks, she would be able to advance to the next level of classes. She was happy about that at least. Iris liked the idea of going home and showing her father that she wasn’t going to let their recent blow to their family get in the way of her accomplishments and that, despite everything, life still goes on.

  


So, when instructed to do so, Iris knelt down near the edge of the deep end of the pool and looked down at the water below her. She readied her arms and positioned them above her head, took in a deep breath of air, and held it. Just as she was about to dive in, however, she froze when she saw something peculiar. She saw what looked like a few wispy clouds and a bright sun glaring in the corner of her eye. There would be a logical explanation to this, had they been outside. It would just be the reflection of the sky above them. But they were inside with nothing but a white tiled ceiling and fluorescent lights above their heads.

  


Iris blinked a few times to get rid of what she could only assume was some weird illusion, as if her mind was playing tricks on her. But the image of the sky wouldn’t fade. When she heard the sound of a sharp tweet of her swimming instructor’s whistle, she knew that it was time for her to jump. 

  


* * *

_ ~*~*~Barry~*~*~ _

* * *

_ _

  


Another minute or so Barry stood there, lost in his thoughts, when he should have been paying attention to what was going on in front of him. Suddenly, he was brought back into the game when he heard someone shout “Barry! Barry! It’s coming your way!”

  


Then, the strangest thing happened. When he looked in the direction he expected to see a ball flying toward him, the sky faded away completely and was replaced by the sight of rippling blue water. Instead of looking up, it was like he was looking down at the bottom of a recreational pool.

  
Barry’s eyes grew wide and all of a sudden he felt like he couldn’t breathe, as if he had been submerged in the water he knew couldn’t possibly be there. He didn’t move, just stood there and gasped for air, and didn’t catch the ball that was hurled toward his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it looks like I am piling all the bad stuff on Iris while Barry get's a much happier life, but believe me, that is not the case. Most of the bad things that happen to him take place after the events of this chapter and will be explained throughout the story. You'll see right away next chapter, he is in a really different place in his life, as is Iris.


	2. You've Been On My Mind, Girl (Since the Flood)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has a hard time with the changes in his life. Iris tries to get through a dinner party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Sorry it’s taken so long to get this chapter out. I have been really distracted lately. But I have been determined to not let this story go. One thing that kept me going was having such an amazing friend and beta withaflashoflove here on AO3.
> 
> So i just want to explain a couple things before you read. This takes place 14 years from where the last chapter left off, making Barry and Iris 25 years old. Iris lives in Austin, Texas and Barry is in Central City (which in my headcanon is in Oregon). That’s it! Thanks, enjoy!

* * *

 

~*~*~Barry~*~*~

* * *

 

It was just before noon on on a Friday morning, the only day he managed to get off work this week, when Barry found himself elbows deep in dishwater, scrubbing hurriedly at a stubborn spot on a plate that just refused to come off. He surprised himself every week with the pile of dishes that stacked up in the sink when he was the only one eating off of them. That and the fact that most of his meals consisted of hot pockets and microwave popcorn. He supposed there was a better way to go about this. To actually clean the dishes he uses right after he was finished with them. But when he spends all day at his job cleaning up after other people- mopping floors, taking out the trash, scrubbing down toilets- picking up after himself was the absolute last thing he wanted to do when he finally made it home.

But Officer Singh had called early that morning, warning him that he would be stopping by to have a talk with him, and Barry felt that if he was going to prove he could be an upstanding citizen of Central City, he had to at least show him that he could take care of himself.

Barry should really consider himself lucky. It wasn’t often that he was notified of a visit with his PO beforehand. It was the kind of thing that made him anxious whenever he left the apartment, worried that he would miss him during an unexpected visit and wind up landing himself into even more trouble. He had missed him twice over the last few months he’s been on parole, but at least he got off easier than some. Barry had heard stories from inmates who had gone through it before. Some parole officers would look for any excuse they could to land you into serious trouble, sometimes to the point where they were thrown back into prison. Officer Singh might have been a bit of a hard ass, but he was at the very least least fair. If Barry wasn’t there when he showed up he would call, annoyed as hell, and tell Barry to get his ass home, or they would just reschedule if he was tied up.

So yeah, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it still made Barry nervous every minute he was gone.

He wasn’t finished with the dishes when he heard a knock at his door. Barry cursed to himself as he pulled the rubber gloves off of his hands and threw them down next to the sink. He fumbled with the tie of the apron strings behind his back, getting frustrated when he realized how knotted up it was. “Hold on!” Barry called to Officer Singh on the other side of the door, and when he couldn’t undo the knot quick enough, he told himself ‘screw it’, pulled the loop that was around his neck over his head, and shimmied the rest of it down his body. Of course, with his lack of grace, he managed to trip while trying to step out of it, losing a shoe in the process.

When he finally managed to open the door he was greeted by the sight of Officer Singh standing on the other side of the threshold, arms crossed and an unamused look on his face. But really, that was nothing new. He looked him up and down and obviously noticed he was only wearing one shoe. “Do I even want to know?”

“Uhhh, see, I lost track of time and I was in the middle of doing the dish-” Barry started to explain, but Singh raised a hand to halt him.

“Please, not another one of your blundering excuses. I meant the question rhetorically.” He put his hand down and stepped inside the apartment. “You know the drill, Allen. I’ll make my sweep of the place then you and I can have our brief chat.”

Barry brought his arm up and rubbed the back of his neck as he let out a long breath of air. “Yeah sure, go ahead. I’ll just wait here.” He moved to the couch and slumped down, allowing the other man to do his job.

He truly hated every moment of this, sitting around while Officer Singh went through each item he owned, just looking for any sign that Barry had gone back to his miscreant ways. He wouldn’t find anything, that he knew. He had a feeling that Singh knew it too. Still, he had to try to accept the fact that nothing in his life would be private as long as he was still being punished for the crimes he committed.

Barry wouldn’t say that he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t think he would ever see a day where he wasn’t painfully ashamed of the things he had done in the past. It might have been nothing he’d ever even wanted to do, but he still did it - more than once- and he had yet to figure out a way to attone for his mistakes. So, he let him look. He let him ask the same questions over and over again. And he would continue to answer them the same way every time.

He watched as Singh made his way through the small living space. Like always, he started in the bedroom, then moved to the bathroom, the closet in the hallway, the kitchen, until he finally made it back to the living room. He’d look through boxes and cupboards, dig through drawers, flip through books, never finding anything suspicious. When he was satisfied, he sat down in the chair across from Barry, pulled out a notepad and pen from the pocket inside of his coat, and began his usual series of questions.

“Have you been associated with any known criminals?”

“No, I haven’t.” Barry answered simply.

Singh made a quick mark on the paper before moving on to the next question. “Have you crossed over the state line at any time?”

“Honestly, I haven’t even been outside the city.”

“How’s your job?” He shifted his eyes from his pad of paper to look up at him. “Caused any trouble there?”

“Other than showing up late for a shift or two, I haven’t heard any complaints.”

He raised a questioning eyebrow. “And why, Mr. Allen, haven’t you been able to make it to work on time?”

Barry fought the urge to groan at the question. Instead, he just shrugged. “I don’t have a car and transportation in this city could be better.”

“You should be able to learn to allow time for that.”

Really it was more than just a transportation issue. Every morning when he got ready for work, it always seemed like everything that could go wrong, would go wrong. He’d sleep through his alarm. He’d lose the key to his apartment. He’d accidently get the time of his shift wrong. But if he did learn anything after dealing with Officer Singh over the last three months is that piling on the excuses only made things worse.

So Barry just nodded and said “I’ll do better.”

“I’ll put it in my notes that your new PO makes sure you do.” He said casually, even though him being reassigned was news to Barry.

“Wait, new PO?” he widened his eyes and leaned forward. “Since when?”

“Since I’ve made the decision to move out of state about a week ago. So yes, it looks like this will be our last visit, and you’ll be meeting your new parole officer within the next week.”

“Do you know who?” he asked, worry evident in his voice. Sure, Officer Singh could be firm, and at times a little frustrating, but he most definitely wasn’t the worst case scenario.

“They haven’t given me the details yet, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

_Easy for him to say._

“Yeah, that isn’t really all that comforting.”

“I’m not here to comfort you, Allen. I’m here to make sure that you continue to abide by your parole. So is whoever they assign you. Keep doing that and you won’t land yourself back in prison.” Having said that, he placed the notepad back in his pocket and stood up. “Alright, we’re done for today.”

Barry got up and walked him out. When Officer Singh went to open the door, he paused and turned back to look at him. “Look. I know you’re not a bad guy. You’re on the right track. Just don’t suddenly go and do something stupid to screw it up.”

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Barry gave him a small, tight lipped smile. “Hope everything goes alright with your move.”

Singh nodded and said, “Take care of yourself, Allen.” and then turned back around to leave.

* * *

 

~*~*~Iris~*~*~  

* * *

 

Tonight was going to be a long night, Iris thought to herself as she stared into the mirror, deciding whether or not she was satisfied with her make-up for the evening. It had already been an incredibly tiring and stressful day at work, and yet she still had to go out to a party she really wasn’t all that excited to attend. But she promised Eddie weeks ago that she’d go, and she knew how important tonight was to him.

It didn’t help however, when he came into the bathroom multiple times to check if she was ready.

“Iris, come on. We need to leave in the next few minutes if we’re going to be there on time.” Eddie urged when he poked his head through the door for the third time.

“You know, I would have been done by now if you hadn’t hogged the bathroom for an hour and made me pick out your suit afterwards. You only left me 20 minutes to get ready.” Iris reasoned and he hung his head down, knowing she was right.

“I’m sorry. I’m just really nervous about this party.”

“I get it, I do. But you shouldn’t worry about it so much, babe. I really don’t think that the captain will base whether or not you get the promotion on one dinner party.” Iris pulled him closer and placed her hands on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes. “It all will come down to how capable you are for the job, and you are. I promise you, you are.”

If Iris was completely honest, she was surprised that he seemed so frazzled over the whole thing. Her husband never had a problem with schmoozing the higher-ups, always coming off as charming, if not a little sure of himself. His boss loved him, he got on well with his fellow cops, and while he might have been a bit boastful, he always took his job seriously.

It wasn’t like he was never high-strung over anything. While he might have been able to keep it cool around the general public, she had come home on several occasions to find him pacing, working out a problem in his head. He’d see her, and all of a sudden all of his worries would come spilling out, and she would be there to talk him through it. She was the only one he trusted to see him like that.

He takes a moment to consider her words, then a small smile pulls at his lips. “I’m sorry if I’ve been acting kind of ridiculous. It’s just that I am getting so close to everything I’ve been working towards for years. Part of me is waiting for something to get completely screwed up and I lose it.” He paused and took a few moments to look into her eyes before letting a smile draw on his lips. “Thank you for agreeing to come with me tonight. It would be so much harder if I had to do this without you.”

She moved her hands from his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist, leaning back so she could continue to look at his face. “Well, you’ve come to almost all of my work functions. Not to mention the fact that you moved across the country to be with me when I decided I wanted to stay in Austin. I’m not going to make you do this alone.”

He moved down to give her a short soft kiss, and when they pulled away she said, “Okay. I’m ready. Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

 

~*~*~Barry~*~*~

* * *

 

Later the same evening, Barry found himself at the bar a block away from his apartment, spending more time staring at the gold liquid slosh around in his glass than actually drinking it. He wasn’t much of a drinker, mainly knowing just how big an idiot he could be once he’s had too much, and it wasn’t like there was anyone around that cared enough to keep an eye on him.

Yes, Barry didn’t really have any friends, but that was nothing new. Ever since he was placed into the foster care system when he was 11 years old, the ability to connect to people was something he struggled with no matter where he went. Sure, he had people he associated himself with. People he wanted to believe would have his back when things took a turn for the worse, but really all they wanted from him was his quick hands and nothing else. They never really cared about him or his well being, that much was evident the moment he found himself in prison.

His mind often drifted to girl who stuck by him through it all. The girl who still had a strong presence in his life, feeling each other's pain and joy and every other emotion they found themselves going through. But the older he got the more he worried that she was something his subconscious conjured up to fill the silence and loneliness plaguing his life. First, she was the friend that brought a little light to the darkness that surrounded him as he tried to sleep. Then she became the only good in his life as the happy home he grew up in was destroyed in one night.

There were the days that logic prevailed and he’d convinced himself that she was just an “imaginary friend” as his parents often described it. Other days, however, he let the feeling in his gut, the feeling that she was out there somewhere, come to the surface and take him over. To be honest, those were the days where he felt he was at his best. They were the days that made him want to get past all the bad things he’d done and find his place in the world again. That supernatural feeling that his heart was still connected to someone he didn’t know, still played a significant part in why he got up in the morning. So even if it made no sense, even if her existence was impossible, he was never really able to let the idea of her go.

Tonight was one of those nights when he really needed her. More change was coming and he was terrified. His meeting with Singh earlier did nothing but remind him of the control he lacked in his own life, and there was no telling what this reassignment would bring. It took him back to the days when he would be moved from home to home, never knowing who would be taking care of him, never knowing what kind of pain he was expected to endure next.

It was feelings like this that made him wonder if he would ever find some kind of peace.

Barry drew a line through the condensation on his glass, feeling the stark contrast in temperature between the cold drink and incredibly warm room. He was about ready to raise the glass up and press it against his forehead when the sound of a woman’s voice stopped him.

“You know, this is the fifth time this month you’ve come into this bar and do nothing but stare at your drink for a solid hour.” Barry looked up to see the bartender smirk at him from the other side of the counter. “Then, after looking at your watch, you down your beer in record speed, throw some cash on the counter, and run off without a word.”

“I didn’t realize I have become so predictable.” He attempts to laugh it off. “Or that anyone was keeping track.”

She swept her long dark hair back over her shoulders and leaned forward against the counter, her arms crossed each other on the wooden surface. “Noticing these things is what makes the job more interesting. Bartending wouldn’t be nearly as fun without it’s regulars.”

Barry lifted an eyebrow. “I’m considered a regular now?”

“I repeat. Fifth time this month and the same quirky routine every time you walk in here.” She resituated back into an upright position, arms still crossed in front of her. She was cute, Barry noticed. That was sure to turn him into awkward bumbling dope if he wasn’t careful.

Barry scratched at the nape of his neck as he thought of a way to respond. “I guess I’m just looking for a little normalcy in my life.”

“Well, since you have officially reached ‘regular’ status, how about being on a first name basis? I’m Linda.” She offered her hand and he reached out to give it a little shake.

“Barry.”

“Nice to meet you Barry.” She gave him a wink before moving on to another customer.

* * *

 

~*~*~Iris~*~*~

* * *

 

They had reached the part of the evening that Iris truly dreaded. She currently found herself amongst the other spouses and significant others, who’ve congregated around the dessert table, as their partners gathered in front of Captain Mendez, each one trying to gain his attention and approval. Iris wasn’t exactly fond of being pulled into small talk with people she barely knew. She didn’t mind getting to know people on a very basic level. It was just one question that was always bound to come up that, after past experience, she didn’t enjoy answering.

“What is it that you do, Iris?” A man, Evan she thinks, asked.

It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her job. She was rather proud of it, actually. While the magazine might not be something that she was planning on sticking with for the rest of her life, it continued to peak her interest in things she didn’t realize were important to her. It was fulfilling. It was inspiring. It made her think.

But as good as she felt about her job, she didn’t feel good with how people reacted when she revealed what magazine she wrote for. It was the slight pursing of their lips, the crinkles that appeared on their foreheads when they scrunched their eyebrows, the ‘hmmmm’ sound they made as they thought of the most polite way to respond. It would be different if it were the time or place where she was free to defend her work with fervor and fire resided in her. It was like a button in her heart that -if pushed- would send her on a one way path to a full blown argument.

But Iris wanted things to go well tonight. She wanted to make a good impression for Eddie’s sake because he had only ever did the same for her during her work functions. So she took a breath and prepared herself for whatever would come next.

“I write for a magazine called _Believing the Impossible_.” Iris replied and turned her eyes down toward the glass of wine she had in her hand, giving herself a second to look at something else other than the expression on their faces before finally taking a sip.

“Isn’t that the magazine filled with stories about about tinfoil hat wearing hicks claiming they were abducted by aliens?” the women to her left questioned with airiness to her words that almost transformed into laughter.

Already Iris found herself gritting her teeth, trying to remember why she was making an effort to be civil as she was affronted by such uninhibited judgement. “Actually” Iris countered “ _Believing the Impossible_ explores many subjects pertaining to strange phenomena around the world. While stories focusing on aliens have definitely made it into the magazine on many occasions, it’s so much more than that. It’s very forward-thinking in a way where there are still many unexplained things on earth that people have trouble wrapping their minds around, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t possible and we won’t understand them eventually. Just look at all that we have today that would be considered magic 100 years ago.”

She looked around at the half a dozen pairs of eyes focused on her as they considered her argument. She received a nod here and there but no one seemed to match her level of interest in the subject.

“So I’m guessing you must have a strong background in science to write for a magazine like that.” Andrew, a man she recognized as the husband of a work friend of Eddie’s, concluded.

“Not really, no.” Iris took another sip of wine, worried that she would lose a bit of credibility within a single answer. “I’ve taken a class or two in college. But I am pretty great at research and we have a lot of scientists who are willing to consult with us so we can have an accurate grasp on whatever subject we’re writing about.”

“I’m curious, why would you take a job at a science magazine if you aren’t passionate about science?” Alice, the same woman to her left who seemed to find her profession so amusing, asked. She wasn’t laughing this time, but Iris could still detect a condescending inflection to her voice. Iris tried hard not to scowl at her.

“I feel like I do better when I am met with a challenge.” Iris stated, but that was only a part of the truth. There was still a whole other side to her chasing the impossible, but it wasn’t something she felt like she could talk freely about, especially around people who stared her down with overcritical eyes. Maybe they didn’t all mean to come across that way, but she couldn’t help but notice skeptical spirit of their expressions.

The truth lied in the feeling she got whenever she would hear a new remarkable story. Iris felt a tug on her heart when asked to open her mind and accept something that to most people are unable to believe in. She felt that if she could do that, maybe she would be able to accept that part within herself that felt different. That felt special. Supernatural, even.

To this day, Iris couldn’t explain what happened to her as kid. From the moment she saw a pool of water replaced with a bright blue sky, she knew that something had changed in her. Ever since that day, or maybe even long before that if she really thought about it, she had felt a presence. It wasn’t like this person, or spirit, or whatever the hell it was, occupied the space beside her. It felt like it took up a place in her mind, always present in anything she ever did. But Iris spent over a decade keeping it to herself, never telling anyone -not even Eddie- because she knew what they would think. They would think that she was going through the same thing her mother did.

Iris would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought the same thing. Sure, it felt real, but how could she trust it after everything she witnessed growing up? She remembered hearing her mother on the other side of her bedroom door, speaking to someone even when she was alone, and Iris couldn’t help but notice the fear in her voice. Her mother was scared because she believed the voices taunting her were real. It made her feel like maybe she should be afraid too.

So she tried to push the presence out. Even though it might have felt comforting at times, like she wasn’t alone during the hardest parts of life, Iris was also aware of the fact that it could also be a serious cause for concern. If she let it in, if she let the presence grow stronger, who knew what form it could potentially take. Who knew how much of her life would be taken up by something she couldn’t even be sure was real. And it couldn’t be, could it?

Then the magazine came into her life. Once Iris graduated she sent her resume out to every publication that was looking to hire. She didn’t even realize how much she needed to write for _Believing the Impossible_ until the day she met with the editor and listened to what they were all about. Through her reporting she got to talk with all different kinds of people who’ve witnessed or experienced things that couldn’t be easily explained.Things that most people would call them crazy for believing in. There were stories about aliens, ghosts, past lives, soulmates, hypnosis, telekinesis, telepathy, and alternate universes. The list went on.  Everyone dealt with it in their own way. Some were consumed by finding the truth. Some were just happy that they were a part of something special. Some were so terrified they could barely leave their house. But no matter how these experiences changed their lives, they were all united in something bigger that the world had yet to understand.

So while Iris might never know for certain if what she was experiencing was real or something she’d created within her own mind, at least now she was allowing herself to explore a side of it that could potentially lead her to the truth.

Something broke Iris away from her thoughts.

Out of nowhere, she began to feel very warm, almost as if she had just stepped into a sauna. Sure enough, her skin started to bead with sweat and she looked down at her glass to see that she hadn’t even drank that much. Then the room got louder, and when she didn’t see any new guests wandering into the party late, she decided to excuse herself from the group and head for the bathroom.

Once she was alone, she was alarmed by the fact that the chattering voices around her hadn’t stopped. Iris went to the sink, ran her hands under some cold water before bringing the back up to rub her neck in an attempt to cool herself off. Why did this have to be happening it now? She quickly tried to come up with excuses. She was just tired. She was getting a fever. Maybe she drank more than she realized. Iris was not willing to accept that tonight out of all nights, and after 14 years, her senses were being overtaken by things that weren’t there.

Was all this because she allowed herself to think about what had happened to her when she was young? It wasn’t like she had never thought about it before. But that never brought on anything more than a few unfamiliar emotions here and there.

Iris steadily took a deep breath in and a deep breath out, trying to focus on what was around her. It took a minute or two, but eventually the added noise quieted down and everything seemed to go back to normal. She let out one last breathe of relief before deciding to return to the party.

But things weren’t as back to normal as she thought. When she was only a few feet away from where Eddie was talking with the captain, Iris let out a yelp when something that felt like a long wooden stick struck her hard in the back, and she fell forward on to the ground.

“Iris!” She heard Eddie yell out amongst the gasps of others guests as he rushed to her side. “Baby, what happened? Are you okay?” He helped her back up, cautiously checking her over.

“I’m fine. I felt like I was hit by-” She looked in the direction she was walking from and her eyes widened when she saw there was nothing there. “-something.”

* * *

 

~*~*~Barry~*~*~

* * *

 

“Shit, Barry!” He heard Linda exclaim as she knelt down beside his lying form. “You alright?”

Barry groaned in pain as he moved to sit up. “I’m fine. Just remind me never to sit in that man’s seat ever again.”

Moments ago, Barry was close to finishing his drink when an older bearded man with a pool cue came up behind him, hammered as all hell, and started yelling for his spot at the counter. Not wanting any trouble, Barry moved from the stool muttering an apology, but either he wasn’t fast enough for the man’s liking or he’d just wanted to teach him a lesson because before he knew it the man swung his pool cue across Barry’s back, sending him straight to the floor.

“Yeah, Tom’s a raging asshole, especially after he’s had a few. Don’t worry though. I think this incident will finally get him barred. Do you need help getting up?”

“No.” He groaned again as he started to hoist himself back up. “But thanks. I think I should probably head home and ice my back if I’m gonna be able to stand up tomorrow.” Barry pulled out his wallet and started fishing for some cash to give to her, but Linda put a hand up to halt him.

“Don’t worry about it. Your beer is on the house.”

“That really isn’t necessary.” Barry contested, but she wouldn’t hear it.

“You took one for the team. I’ve been waiting for that jerk to be kicked out of this place for like a year.” She stepped away before he could insist and returned to her spot on the other side of the counter. “If you feel weird about it, just tip me super well the next time you’re here.”

“Will do.” Barry chortled and gave her a little wave. “Thanks, I’ll see you around.”  

* * *

 

~*~*~Iris~*~*~

* * *

 

They left the party soon after the incident.

Iris closed her eyes as she leaned her body against the passenger side door of Eddie’s car, trying to keep herself from stressing over what had happened. But Eddie wasn’t as willing to let the subject go.

“What was that?”

“I told you, I don’t know. Can we just talk about it tomorrow?”

“I don’t think we should. You collapsed, Iris. I think you need to go to the doctor.” He tried to reason with her and Iris snapped her eyes back open. There was no way she was taking this to a doctor.

“I don’t need to go to a doctor.” She said firmly. “It was probably some weird muscle spasm or something. I’m fine now.”

Iris watched as Eddie drove. He looked like he was debating something in his head, opening and closing his mouth like he was about to ask a question but kept deciding against it. Curious, Iris asked him to say whatever it was. He took another moment before finally coming out with it. “You weren’t just trying to get out of the party, right?” Eddie took his eyes off the road for a second to see the intense scowl that Iris was shooting his way.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Iris raised her voice in disbelief.

His face fell, immediately ashamed for the suggestion. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“You shouldn’t have even thought it! You know how supportive I have been of you through all of this. You know how much I wanted for things to go well for you tonight!” Iris reminded him, not holding back on her anger.  She spent all night standing around a group of people who were obviously looking down on her, all the while biting her tongue and plastering on a smile. She couldn’t believe it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know. You’ve been amazing. I just wish I knew what happened. I guess I would rather have it be that than there being something wrong with you.”

After hearing that and seeing the obvious worry on his face, Iris relented. There was just too much going on in her head to continue fighting about this and she could tell that he was being sincere. “Look, if you really want me to see a doctor, I can take a half day at work tomorrow and get checked out.”

He calmed at that and Iris went back to resting her head against the window, this time keeping her eyes opened and watched as they sped past the streetlights on the side of the road. She’d go to the doctor just to ease Eddie’s mind and just hope they could offer her a simple excuse that she could give to him. Iris would just keep from revealing the details of what really happened, hoping she could find the answers herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, just want to let you know that I made some cover art for this fic. If you want to see it go here: http://fav.me/daxc4wi


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